Planning my life goals always seemed to be a struggle. Of course, during my teens and early 20’s, I thought I had everything figured out. As you may know by now, life does not always turn out the way you plan it. Life truly began to get harder once I turned 30, and “over the hill.”
From my own experiences which also include failures, I’ve learned that you must first create realistic goals that you are absolutely sure of wanting to conquer. And just because life can get weird sometimes, you may have to do things over or even do certain things you don’t necessarily want to do in order to get to that place where you need to be.
"Base goals on your own abilities and desires. Pay close attention to what your mind tells you, sprinkled with a little bit of what your heart desires."
Yikes! I’m Almost 40!
Deadlines are crucial when it comes to executing your goals; however, sometimes tagging an age onto it, can limit your progress. There’s no right or wrong when it comes to when you should accomplish a goal. Of course you want to meet your goals in a timely manner, but goals are meant as a guideline to motivate you. Your timeline to complete a task should be based on personal interest, talent, amount of time you’re willing to put into achieving your goal, and simply how BADLY you want it.
Don’t focus on what society says. You’re doomed to fail if you create your goals based on what others think. Respect the wisdom and advice from close relatives, friends, and colleagues, but be sure to weigh the pros and cons of your decision and include any factors that may affect you or your family negatively.
For example, you’re married with kids and you’re offered a job making a significant amount of money. The job is across the country. Consider the cost of living, consider whether your spouse will be able to find work in his or her field, consider the schools or daycares in the area, consider the crime rate – the list goes on. Bottom line – you need to determine if the move is worth it long-term.
If you’ve studied Business, Marketing, or Project Management, you’re probably familiar with S.M.A.R.T. Goals. This way of setting goals is useful in your everyday life. It can help you determine if certain goals are the right choice for you.
I don’t always listen to advice, but I try to look at different points of view and compare it to my own views. At around 18 years old, my maturity level wasn’t at its peak. I wish I would have done many things differently. Even today, those poor choices have continued to affect my current life.
In high school, my academic counselor advised me to attend a community college first. I wasn’t ready for the “big” campus life, heavy course loads; and besides, classes are much cheaper at community colleges compared to universities. Instead, I chose to attend a university only because I was focused on what friends and family would think of me. I wanted to make them proud. But I did just the opposite.
By my junior year, I had failing grades because I wasn’t focused and I wasn’t ready to take my education serious. My deadline was getting closer – Yes, like many, I had it all planned out. Instead of focusing on realistic, obtainable deadlines, I wanted to do everything at a certain age. I didn’t realize that sometimes you need to have mental preparation. And I just wasn’t ready to grow up. I was a junior longer than I should have been and my boyfriend had already graduated, gotten his first major job and moved to a new state. I was left behind. BUT, if I had listened to the GOOD advice that my school counselor suggested, more than likely, after completing my 2-year degree, I would have been mentally prepared for the university, minimizing my chances of failing. So, here I am at 22, a college dropout with no real plans. The only thing I knew for sure is that I wanted to be married by 25. By 23, I moved, got engaged at 24, and married 6 months before my 26th birthday.
Career was going nowhere, but at least I met one of those goals, right? Was it an important goal? Was it the right goal for me at the time? No and no. Years later, months from my 30th birthday, I’m with no job, no degree, tens of thousands in student loans, and headed for divorce.
Poor decision-making, poor goal-planning and poor focus caused me to start life over. What works for others, may not work for you. We are all unique individuals who require customized lifestyle changes to meet our specific needs.
More than a decade later, I ended up going back to school, and I eventually earned my Master’s degree. I was focused. I crushed my educational goal – finally. Now, it was time to have a stable career.
"Create meaningful goals that define the person you are meant to become."
Uh, Oh…Going Backwards
Sometimes life will go back full circle. You may end up back in a place where you don’t want to be, but need to be temporarily. I learned a long time ago to “never” say “never.” But we often do anyway. When I met my current boyfriend, I thought my career was getting back on track. Things have changed, now. I’ve had to downgrade my car and overall lifestyle. Today, I’m driving the same model car that he had when I met him. And his salary is more than what I’m earning, and he’s now driving “the nice car”. My point is that sometimes life has a way of teaching us to remain humble and never judge others. What if I had judged him based on a few superficial details? And what if he judged me now?
It is important to always trust the process. Do what you need to do in order to reach you ultimate goal. No, it’s not going to be easy. You can’t skip steps or scheme your way through it. There’s hard work involved, and there’s sacrifice.
It’s easy to give up. But if you want something bad enough, you will do whatever it takes (within reason) to make your dream a reality!
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